It’s Okay to Be Bigger Than Your Friend

When reflecting on the title, so many memories came flooding in. The constant comparison I engaged in throughout my middle school and high school years. The endless diets I went on to achieve a flat stomach. The waist trainer I wore to obtain a thinner waist. The clothes I didn’t buy because I thought they looked better on my friends. The crop tops I didn’t wear because I thought I wasn’t thin enough.

But guess what?

It’s okay to be bigger than your friend...⁣ ⁣

As I grew older, I slowly but surely accepted the fact that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a larger body than your friends. It isn’t a competition. They aren’t paying as much attention as you are. They don’t love you for the size of your body. They love you for who you are on the inside. ⁣And as far as I’m concerned, yeah, someone thinking you’re attractive is great and all, but I want someone to like me for SO much more than that. I want them to like me, for me. For my soul! ⁣Don’t you?

There are so many factors that determine the size of someone’s body. And guess what? Almost all of those factors are completely out of your control. Nobody in the world will ever have your exact body. And no two bodies are the same. They may look similar, but it is impossible for two bodies to look and function exactly the same.

⁣My friends aren’t to blame for being thinner than I am. They just simply live in smaller bodies. Whether it’s genetics, caloric need, bone density, or body frame, our bodies are different. I stopped being envious the minute I realized that I was striving for something that didn’t matter. ⁣The size of my body will never determine how many friends I have or whether I’m genuinely liked or not. That was a lie I convinced myself of. ⁣Why? Because social media had convinced me that in order to be “fun” or “beautiful” or “desirable,” I had to be thin. Being thin was presented to me as the “it” girl. The girl who had it all! And unfortunately, the thin ideal is still presented as the “ideal” body type. But, that doesn’t mean we have to believe it nor do we have to abide by it.

⁣People would always tell me, “Gabi you’re so confident and outgoing!” I never used to believe people. Why? Because on the inside I was an emotional wreck. I was consumed by the way I looked and not the energy I exuded. And, I always thought that’s what people said when they didn’t have a body compliment to give you. And back then, all I lived for were body compliments. If someone didn’t mention my weight loss, or that I was “looking good,” I flipped. I thought, “Oh my god! It isn’t noticeable… Or maybe I just look the same and it’s all in my head.”

After a lot of reflective work and therapy, I realized that my confidence and positive energy were contagious and captivating—and way more interesting than the size of my body. ⁣It took me a hell of a long time to get there, but I got there. And so can you! ⁣Don’t waste the precious time you have on this earth trying to look like somebody else. Instead, learn to cherish the body you already have and everything it’s capable of. Because there’s only one of you. And you deserve to be cared for and loved.